We are thinking of adding the The Hotel California clause to leases: "You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave!" As an incentive for prospective tenants to sign up under the HCC, they will get to see my smiling face every month when they pay their rent. What more could they ask for? Besides they will be confused hearing my Canadian accent in the heart of Texas, and will be embarrassed to admit that they can't understand a thing I say. They will sign, sign away just to get me to shut up about hockey, snow and the Queen.

That should keep occupancy rates up!